When the Warrior is Ready to Forgive
Throughout my life, I mottled through often isolated, though in adulthood, and of course hindsight, I see how my life could have been had I been surrounded by those who believed in me. I am a strong believer in things happening for a reason. The adults who surrounded me did the best they could with what they knew how to do. Had they known better, they would have done better. And that’s why we’re here to teach each other now, because we can do better. Teachers of self-empowerment could have made such a difference in my life as a warrior.
We must remember that Indigos share a purpose: to educate and transform. This is done in two stages for the Indigo; the warrior stage and the stage of forgiveness. I feel that one of my services to the spiritual community is expressing the importance of messages alerted to us by our children. In order to “do it better,” it is so important that we are aware.
What is the warrior?
The warrior is the Indigo who takes one for the team as a victim soul and then the process they go through of self-protection and the efforts to protect others while also seeking truth. Nice and tidy when you say it, but not so while in the trenches. As an adult Indigo survivor, I had to come to terms with my warrior. My warrior was the fierce Isis, who took on liars and cheaters and thieves without abandon and with no mercy. I saw, many times, only one-sided injustice, when dynamics can run deep, long and muddy. I did my job, and I did it well. I broke up families by making truth mandatory and tragedies public. I built walls between sisters and was the slayer of child molesters’ once pristine reputations.
For some warriors, it doesn’t end when the physical experience is over. There are psychological repercussions. I feel that I went through a kind of post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was reliving abuse and abandonment over and over and couldn’t let it go, because I felt that if I did, the importance of what I had endured would have been lost.
Triggers rear their ugly heads when you experience anything threatening. And by threatening I mean anything that reminds you of betrayal, not feeling emotionally safe, or actual abuse. Identifying hot buttons and deciding why some things trigger and other things don’t are important in order to evaluate how they represent present circumstances.
I have learned so much about myself, through my reactions of different situations way after the fact of abuse. Asking yourself, “Why does this anger me-make me cry-laugh-or somehow make me remember someone from when I was young.” Evaluating how you can be real with your thoughts and feelings before you react is extremely important during the forgiving process.
When I realized that my emotions were connected to past traumas of abandonment and abuse and that they had nothing to do with present situations and circumstances, I was able to clearly identify trauma in my life. Thinking about each situation that I’ve reacted to, it’s amazing and fascinating to me that I have carried with me so closely and so deeply and for such a long period of time these traumas without peace. I had been acting them out again and again.
There was a better way to create love. It didn’t have to be through constant repetition of loss and abandonment. It could be through learning from my past and teaching others by what I had experienced. It could be, this time around, through forgiveness.
Through my yoga practice I’ve learned that many times our identity is enmeshed in personal dialog about past traumas. We tend to cling to emotional times that are familiar; yet severing ties from habitual responses is imperative in the process of moving on.
To learn from our experiences, we need to look at our emotional patterns in detail and identify the triggers. We must then make a conscious decision to move away from that pattern and acknowledge every moment when you recognize the pattern resurfacing. Then tell yourself that it is now time to pick up the pieces.
The Cage is an illusion
One night I dreamed I was wearing a T-shirt that said “compassion” across the front. Slowly it all came together. When you acknowledge to yourself that you are no longer under law, “I am under grace, I don’t have to be the warrior anymore,” you can open yourself to compassion; for you and for others.
In the Bhagavad Gita, the sacred Hindu text, the god Krishna tells yogi Arjuna that it is a misjudgment to focus on the outcomes of our efforts rather than on the efforts themselves, “The man who is devoted and not attached to the fruit of his actions obtains tranquility.”
This was difficult for me, but I had to face the shift in consciousness and accept myself for who I was, a complete universe in my own right. I had to remind myself that my ego was the only thing that made me feel alone and not accepted. I had to forgive myself. Detaching emotionally, even a bit at a time can create a monumental turning point in life, faith and forgiveness.
Grace is honoring the divinity of a situation, person, place, thing or existence, while not dealing with it, blocking it or denying it, is excusing it. Through Grace we forgive. All we have to focus on is Grace. When you change your present, you can change your future. Whenever I feel sidetracked I say this mantra to myself to help me stay focused, “All you need to do today is love being alive, even it it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done.” I remind myself to be grateful that I’ve chosen to come into a life, and now of all times, to be part of this brilliant madness that we call the Universe.
Fierce grace is not detachment. It’s the ultimate unity. When you can move beyond your bubble of experience and see the connection through the Universe, the guilt and shame, the stuff of walls, releases because you sense its illusion. When you “wag more and bark less,” things seem to fall into place. Living your life in service brings about peace. Through grace we forgive. All we have to focus on is grace.
HSPs/Empaths, at the height of sensitivity, anxiety or stress, can feel that the world is black and white, good and evil. How we teach them the ways of life, how to respect and forgive, is especially important. Raising our children in this supportive manner and teaching through experience encourages Indigos, Crystals and Rainbows who are coming into their gifts. By acknowledging these personal self-realizations, we honor our children giving them what they need now, while we honor ourselves by speaking our warrior’s truths.
Stagecoach aka Ringo (Full Western Feature Film, Full Classic Movie)
WIKIPEDIA: Stagecoach is a 1939 American Western film directed by John Ford, starring Claire Trevor and John Wayne in his breakthrough role. The screenplay, written by Dudley Nichols, is an adaptation of “The Stage to Lordsburg”, a 1937 short story by Ernest Haycox. The film follows a group of strangers riding on a stagecoach through dangerous Apache territory.
Stagecoach was the first of many Westerns that Ford shot using Monument Valley, in the American Southwest on the Arizona–Utah border, as a location, many of which also starred John Wayne. Scenes from Stagecoach, including a famous sequence introducing John Wayne’s character the Ringo Kid, blended shots of Monument Valley with shots filmed on the Iverson Movie Ranch in Chatsworth, California, RKO Encino Movie Ranch, and other locations. Similar geographic incongruencies are evident throughout the film, up to the closing scene of Ringo (Wayne) and Dallas (Trevor) departing Lordsburg, in southwestern New Mexico, by way of Monument Valley.
In 1995, this film was deemed “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” by the United States Library of Congress and selected for preservation in their National Film Registry.
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