T-Shirt Time at the Jersey Shore


GTL in the breakfast time and T-Shirt Time at Night!!

This article is all about the shirt you wear before the shirt. That’s right, it’s 12:10 and one and all knows it’s T-Shirt Time!!

What is T-Shirt Time?

You got your fresh to death shoes on, you got some jeans on, and you got the shirt. But, you ain’t wearing the shirt when you go out – it’s the shirt before the shirt. Even Vinnie is on the shirt before the shirt.

You’ve got an plethora of Wife Beaters, they’re white or black tank tops. You wear them before you go out. You sit on the davenport in your tank tops until it’s T-Shirt Time!

Right before you go out, you take off the tank and put on your sharp shirt.

Yeah, shirt last minute Dog, what is this your first Rodeo?

Gorilla Juicehead
These aren’t Zoo Animals, they’re running wild on the beach!

Gorilla Juiceheads, for those who don’t savor, are bulky, tall Guidos all pumped up on Growth Hormones or Steroids. Though innate to New York & New Jersey and repeatedly checked walking the boardwalk in Seaside Heights, plainly there are few Gorilla Juiceheads to be discovered in the Southern Florida area. Guidettes like J-Woww and Snooki perpetually seem to be on the hunt for tan Guidos with their swole on and I’d bet Sammie would likely estimate Ronnie her very own Gorilla.

“To my knowledge, there really isn’t a guido culture up there,” J-Woww short while ago publicized in Rolling Stone. “I came down here for college, and I had a boyfriend that was severely into it, and that’s how I got accustomed to it.”

As voiced by Jenny in summer one, “I see a bunch of Gorilla Juiceheads. tall, completely jacked, steroids, like multiple growth hormones. That’s, like, the type that I’m attracted to.”-J-WOWW, Jersey Shore

Gym, Tanning, Laundry

As Vinnie says, ” . . . it’s how they make the Guidos”.

There’s not much point in taking HGH and Roids if you don’t go to the gym to get ripped. If you don’t go to the gym, you aren’t going to look very commendable.

Tanning is an elemental part of the credo, because you don’t want to look pale. A fit glow draws the affection of the Guidette in heat. For some Guidettes, such as Snooki, the tan even plays a central role in their ethnicity.

Listen Bro, everybody needs unblemished clothes, right? Clean Laundry every day is a big deal if you want to be fresh to death. If you crave to be a Bink, youse gotta have unspotted threads, my dude.

Grenade Free Foundation

What is a Grenade?

A grenade is a colossal, resounding and often very unattractive woman (and sometimes prone to brute force), who is doing her best to keep her hot cohort from hooking up with you at the club. She knows she ain’t obtaining any and she wants to make clear no one of her girlfriends do either!

A Wingman is normally treated to be needed when a Grenade is undergone. The Wingman is expected to “dive on the Grenade”, whereby distracting her from her previous blocking scheme. If the Wingman is outstanding in his sacrifice, your chances of getting to Smush are greatly enhanced.

The GFF, or Grenade Free Foundation is a young but growing group of Guidos who are devoted to helping themselves and their peers prevent taking home, beastly, ear-splitting, blimp and cruel women while being too drunk to grasp it. Fortunately, there is no registration system or fee to become a member of the GFF, one only has to set new conduct and fend off the many Zoo Animals ranging the clubs.

This shirt is simply a way to patronizingly represent your chosen lifestyle and elevate this philosophy to like minded humans everywhere you wear it.

There has been some discussion of Grenades of the male persuasion, but there is little evidence to show males into in any form of blocking action with their comrades, Especially after letting each other know it’s T-Shirt Time!!

If you aren’t DTF, you in all likelihood have a pretty boring life . . . just sayin’.

What does DTF mean? We’re taking the posture that no one is really sure about what this abbreviation means.

Dance ’til Four?
Drink ’til full?
Driven to Fistpump?

This one is fun on account of you get to establish what DTF means. Isn’t that just great?

Dirty Little Hamster
The opposite of a Clean Little Hamster

The Situation comes up with some pretty damn funny one-liners and Dirty Little Hamster is one of our favorites! If you happen to be the type of unit who leaves used personal hygiene goods lying around in public places where your roommates have to deal with them and you never clean your home, you probably don’t know it, but you’re a Dirty Little Hamster!

Most Dirty Little Hamsters are so used to living at home with their parents, that they simply don’t know how much work it is to clean up after themselves. It’s in all likelihood true that most Hamsters are not aware of the fact that they have come to feel someone else to clean up after them.

Randy Parks, Design & Marketing
T-Shirt Time

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