How to Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend and Repair the Relationship


I have young women come to me quite frequently wondering how they can get back together with their ex boyfriends.  Generally, before I recommend ways to repair the relationship, I will ask them why they want to get back together?  What was it they had that was so special?

Gina (not her real name) answered:  “It was the way I could make Tom smile. I would flirt with him and he would get this lovable, boyish grin on his face.  It still makes me warm just thinking about it.” I asked Gina if she had tried to make Tom smile lately? 

Doesn’t that just make common sense?  Repairing a relationship is a process of many steps.  But along the way, doesn’t it make sense to reconnect to the things that made you happy when you were in the relationship? Sadly, sometimes those things are forgotten when couples start taking each other for granted.

If you are asking how to get back with your ex-boyfriend, let me ask you this:

Was there was something you did that made him laugh? — do it again. 
Did he love the way you sang a certain song or hummed a tune — sing it again. 
Was there a favorite meal you used to prepare just for him?  Invite him to dinner and make that meal again!

Men are natural providers and protectors.  Why not give him an opportunity to protect you?  Let him know you are comfortable with him “taking care of you” in some small way.  For instance, you might ask him to help you repair a leaky faucet  — even if you know how to do it yourself!.

Naturally you don’t want to burden him with chore after chore; nor do you want to bother him with trivial things that are just stupid — like asking him to come over just to replace a light bulb or move a sofa.  No, these little requests should be handled like good perfume:  When worn right — sweet enough to catch his attention, but worn wrong — strong enough to put him into insulin overload!

I explained to Gina that if she wants to get back with her ex boyfriend, it is going to involve a lot of premeditated and orchestrated maneuvers.  But Tom can’t know Gina is tying to manipulate him. For instance, she will need to arrange “accidental,” “spontaneous” meetings.

When Gina sees Tom on these “pre-arranged” occasions, she mustn’t try to be the center of the show.  She needs to make Tom think it’s just a casual meeting, and then Gina needs to move on.  BUT — when she has him there, Gina will compliment him on something.  When Tom thanks her, she will give him that little flirt that used to make him smile.  Just as he gives her that grin,  Gina will tell him she has to run!

If Gina does it right, I have no doubt Tom will take the bait and pursue her. Gina’s job is to make Tom think it’s his idea.

You can call it sexist — but that’s the way it works folks.  It’s been that way for centuries and it doesn’t look like it’s going to change anytime soon.