Becoming a mom can be a very special moment in a woman’s life. Whether she gives birth to a child herself, or adopts, the role of being a mother is an important one, and having a child often forces moms to face the biggest dilemma of their life, work or stay home? This can be a big decision, and there are a lot of factors that come into play for why it is such a difficult decision to make. Let’s look at a few of these:
1. Money. The world is expensive, and most families feel like they can’t make ends meet off a single income. With the cost of taxes, groceries, gas, homes, etc. so high, most families rely on the income mom brings in. The decision to stay home often means a big cut in pay, thus lifestyle. For some, it is not a question of whether the family will eat prime rib or hot dogs, but whether they will eat at all.
2. The balancing act. Many moms want to do both, but often this means spreading themselves so thin that they are not doing either job particularly well. It is difficult to be a good employee when you are worrying about diapers, nap schedules, etc. and it is difficult to be a good mom when you have client meetings, deadlines, and so on.
3. The guilt. Most moms get some satisfaction out of working. It helps them be a contributor to the finances in the family. It allows them to be a career professional, and not just a mommy. However, many moms feel guilty that they enjoy being at work, and are missing out on some of the events and milestones in their child’s life. Many moms worry that a sitter or nanny is raising their children. This causes guilt, and guilt can cause stress.
4. The tedium. Many women have college degrees, and have spent many years in the work force being appreciated for their knowledge and skill. It is very gratifying to feel needed and important in your job. When you stay home as a mom, it is often a thankless job. Your kids do not often show gratitude for the many hours you clean, cook, and care for them. Many husbands do not seem to recognize the amount of time and work it takes to keep the home in order and the kids organized and busy. This can be difficult for a mom who has been in a career where they were appreciated. It can make being a stay at home mom tedious and frustrating.
5. The ostracizing. If you are a working mom, you often find that you and your children get left out of invitations, etc. because you work. If you are a stay at home mom, you feel like working moms do not feel you can relate. Basically there becomes a divide. This can be hard for moms to cross.
Deciding whether to work or stay home, work part time, work full time, or not work at all is a dilemma for many mommies. Some moms think they want to stay home then find that they struggle with the never ending work and non-existent appreciation stay at home moms get. They crave the different fulfillment you get from a job with a paycheck. There is no right or wrong answer to whether or not you should stay home. There are advantages to both. This is a decision you have to make on your own.